Baby Blue
by Anita
Summary: Kate is just walking in circles, there is no such thing as a happy ending.


This is the second fic I have written for the 5trueloves challenge on Livejournal. Minor spoilers for season two.

* * *

8) Mistletoe

**Baby Blue**

Kate Austen fidgeted awkwardly, pulling at the lace on her skirt. She had been decked from head to toe, but all she really wanted was a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Kate wasn't looking forward to spending the whole night in these clothes. The holiday season was supposed to be enjoyable.

"Mom, why do I have to wear this?" Kate complained loudly.

"Because the guests are coming over soon, and you want to make your mother proud." Kate grimaced and her mother continued. "Please, Katie, I never get a chance to entertain. Do this for me, at the very least."

"Fine, ma." Kate sighed.

"Besides, Tom is coming. Maybe if you're good, I'll let the two of you sneak out before the drunken Christmas carols start." She winked at Kate conspiratorially and Kate smiled to herself.

That was right, Tom was coming. It wouldn't be that bad after all.

* * *

"Hey." Hurley made his way up the beach to Kate.

"Hi Hurley. What's up?"

"Well, I was talking to Rose and she told me that today is Christmas."

"Really? It sure doesn't look like Christmas to me." Kate muttered. Everyday looked the same on this damn island.

"Yeah, so, uh, Merry Christmas Kate." Hurley tossed her a coconut. "It's not the best gift, but I'm kinda strapped for cash."

She smiled in spite of the absurdity and hugged him. "Thanks."

Hurley grinned and walked off. Kate played absent-mindedly with the coconut in her hand.

"Christmas…" She whispered bitterly to herself.

It would never be the same.

* * *

Tom Brennan had been Kate Austen's friend since as long as she could remember. She honestly couldn't recall a time when he wasn't in her life. They had found each other by chance – Kate had accidentally stepped on his glasses – and the friendship had stuck. It was cliched to say it, but they were inseparable.

The only thing was that now Kate wasn't so sure she only wanted friendship.

Tom walked up to her and smiled. "You look nice, Kate."

"Thanks. Except I feel like some kind of showcase doll." She smiled back at him.

He chuckled and leaned in. "You wanna get out of here?"

Kate wanted nothing more than just that. She glanced at her mother to find her sufficiently occupied, so she grabbed Tom by the hand and pulled him out the door.

* * *

Kate scanned the beach. Everyone was as busy as ever, unaware that only miles away their families would be celebrating without them. Or maybe they were mourning.

She sat alone, unwilling to join her fellow castaways. Not today. She was content to be alone with her thoughts, remembering what could have been.

What had been so easily lost.

* * *

"I'm considering medicine." Tom admitted sheepishly, taking a sip from the beer they had smuggled from the party. "But I don't know if I'm actually smart enough…"

"Oh, come on, Tom. I don't even know anyone who's smarter than you." Kate laughed.

"How about you, what do you think you want to do after school?"

"I don't know." She wasn't the kind of person who planned. She barely knew what she was going to do next week let alone a few years down the road.

Tom took her hand in his. "You're smart, Kate, you could do anything you want to. You should give it some thought."

He was just so incredibly grounded, so unlike her. And as much as she loved him for it, sometimes she felt like it was the one thing that would break them apart.

Kate shook her head, grinning and conveniently ignoring his words. "Dr. Tom Brennan? I like the sound of that."

* * *

Night came far too quickly, the day ending before it had truly begun. Claire walked over to Kate.

"Hey there. Haven't seen you all day."

"Yeah, I've been kind of busy." Kate lied unconvincingly, but Claire did not mention that there was nothing to be busy with.

Claire looked at her with concern. "Are you alright?"

"I guess. Just a little tired, that's all."

"You sure?"

Of course she wasn't just tired. She was coming apart. Everything was beginning to remind her of him. Kate had hoped she would leave her past behind when she was on the island, but the farther she tread, the closer her demons reached.

There was no such thing as absolution for the damned.

And she was fairly certain that she was the most condemnable of them all. Kate was not meant to find peace.

_I killed the man I loved, but other than that, everything's just wonderful._ Kate bit back the words and smiled wanly at Claire.

"Yeah, I'm doing just fine."

* * *

They snuck back into Kate's house well past midnight. Most of the guests had already filed out and Kate was relieved that she wouldn't have to explain her absence to them. Her mom looked content and didn't bat an eye when she caught Tom and Kate returning.

"Thanks for keeping me company. I thought I was going to be bored out of my mind. I don't know what I would have done with myself if you hadn't come, Tom."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

"Apparently an escape plan that includes beer." Kate grinned at him.

Tom's face suddenly grew serious and he stopped on the spot, causing her to pause as well. "Um, Kate…"

"What is it?" She looked upon his newfound nervousness with confusion.

Tom raised his eyes to the ceiling and Kate followed his line of sight. Hanging ceremoniously above them was a sprig of mistletoe.

Kate cursed to herself. She was going to have to kill her mother for putting that mistletoe up. Now things were going to be awkward and uncomfortable between her and Tom, and that was the last thing she wanted. What could she say to him…

Kate's thoughts were cut short as she felt Tom's lips press against her own. She was caught completely off guard by the warmth of his kiss. It was sweet and simple, just like him.

They had definitely never done this before, but Kate wasn't going to complain. So instead, she kissed him back.

No, she wasn't the kind to think about tomorrows, but she was certain that she didn't want to let the moment go.


End file.
